All the memories
by nastazia indark
Summary: Uryuu finds out about the other side that Ryuuken had once.
1. Dealing with you

_Damn_.

Ishida hit his hand on the wall, enraged. It was always like this when he got to talk to Ryuuken. Not his father-he had stopped calling him that a long time ago. For him, he was just Ryuuken. Nothing more.

Or was he?

Ishida Uryuu left the Karakura Clinic, where his father was a director at, with a bandaged arm and his nerves wrecked. He had to hear that lecture again, as Ryuuken tended to his sliced arm. Why, oh why did he have to go there? He insisted on tending to his injuries alone, but Orihime insisted that he should go there. And that's something that troubled him, since the orange-haired girl could easily heal him. And yet, after she treated him, she took him to the hospital, no matter how much he argued about how this was unnecessary.

"But, Ishida-kun, you have to go and check it up anyway!" she pleaded, big grey eyes staring at his. And that's something he couldn't say no to. So, he sighed in frustration and let her lead him.

And he immediately regretted it, when he felt Ryuuken staring angrily at both of them, his cold eyes igniting sparks between father and son.

"So, you did it again."

Uryuu couldn't help but chuckle angrily. If not for Orihime's hand that held his shoulders, he would have left already.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Ishida-san. Could you please tend to his wound?" Orihime said politely, pushing Uryuu softly towards his father. The two of them exchanged an angry glare and Ryuuken immediately turned his back and entered his office, nodding for Uryuu to follow him. He did so, biting his lips and grunting.

_If only I hadn't agreed to this foolishness_, Uryuu thought. He was now at his home alone, gritting his teeth to keep himself from swearing out loud. _What the hell does he want from my life? He never cared for me, or grandpa. Only for his own self and his pathetic career._ Not that anyone could call Ryuuken Ishida's career pathetic-but what else should his son say? _He denied everything-his family, his Quincy pride, everything! – and he became a stupid, arrogant workaholic. And he has the nerve to tell ME to take care! How dare he!_

Another punch landed on the wall upon this thought. He could never understand this man, no matter how many times the elder Ishida claimed that 'he would understand him when he grew older'. Right then, it was that Uryuu sensed this reiatsu -Ryuuken's- approaching. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down until the reiatsu he sensed was emitting right behind his door. He opened, not waiting for his father to knock.

Ryuuken stepped in, looking calm as always-something that made his son even more enraged-. He looked around indifferently for a while, until his gaze stopped on a picture of Souken holding Uryuu in his hands. The look of happiness in his son's younger version, In contrast to the angry scowl which was shooting at him now, made him chuckle.

"You still have this, don't you?"

"Did you expect something else, Ryuuken? You should be surprised if I had YOUR picture in this house, instead. Which I don't."

The silver-haired man chuckled. "Indeed, I would be surprised. You would only own a picture of me to use it as a shooting target."

"You're right, I'm not going to lie. Now, why are you here?" Uryuu said, keeping his gaze away from his father's.

"I want you to come with me." Was his father's response, square and short.

The raven-haired boy laughed cheekily. "Are you serious? And why would I do that?"

"I didn't _ask_ you to come, SON.  I _demand _it."

He frowned. "First of all, don't call me son. And then, I'm not someone you can demand things from."

The older man took a deep breath. "I knew we'd go that far. You're a stubborn one, aren't you? Well. Let's settle this. We can have a little _fight_. If you win, I will leave you be. But if I win, you'll follow me and listen to all that I have to say. What do you say?"

Ryuuken stretched his arm to meet his son's in a handshake, but he pushed it away angrily. "Very well. And when do you want this to be?"

"We can do it now. And since you're still with stitches, we will have to wait until this is healed." Saying this, Ryuuken opened the door to reveal Orihime, standing with her eyes fixed on her shoes.

_I didn't sense her reiatsu at all! Can she conceal it that well or was I just too careless?_Uryuu looked at Orihime, wondering about what had just happened, while she summoned Ayame and Shun'o to heal her friend. When his arm was fully healed, she turned to Ryuuken and nodded.

"Since your arm is fine now, we can take our leave."

"I told you that I won't follow you!" was Uryuu's response, angry and almost over-the-edge.

His father's chuckle made him angrier. "And where are we going to fight? Here? We will go to ourtraining area."

"Our? It's yours…But let us go."


	2. I won

After they led Orihime out, with the promise that they would let her know in case they needed her, the two of them rode in Ryuuken's car to the hospital. Said hospital's basement had the training area they were talking about. Wasting no time at all, Uryuu materialized his bow and took his stance across Ryuuken.

"So eager to fight me, aren't you?"

"If that's the way to be left to my own devices…"

Ryuuken laughed and materialized his own bow. In a single moment, a duel had started between them. Countless arrows were flying here and there, and father and son were moving swiftly around. Uryuu was tense as Ryuuken moved effortlessly around, looking so calm. _What the hell does he think he's doing? Arrogant bastard…_

As if he heard his son's thoughts, the elder Ishida laughed. "Maybe you'd hit me if you were more relaxed, you know?"

Uryuu bit his lip, enraged. _Shut up, old man…_

An arrow, at last, grazed its target's forearm. Uryuu swore under his teeth as he got hit. _Nothing to be worried about_, was his conclusion as he swirled on the floor, avoiding a shower of arrows coming from Ryuuken. That was a fight of endurance. One sigh of tiredness would decide the victor and the loser. But no one seemed more tired with the other, and in the end, Uryuu decided to use his last resort. He would try to use his Sprenger in the heat of the moment.

"Come on, Ryuuken! Is this all you've got?" he chuckled, while he tossed one of his silver tubes in front of the older man's feet and started an incantation.

"You fool…Do you think that this is enough?" Ryuuken said, looking amused at his son's attempts to distract him. Using one silver tube after another, Uryuu tried to concentrate on keeping Ryuuken busy, while he was preparing for Sprenger.

For one moment, he felt full of confidence-that might work, after all Ryuuken was under his incantations. But just then, the spells broke. Shortly before Sprenger took effect, Ryuuken had grabbed Uryuu, tossed him away from the Sprenger radius and seized the arm holding his bow. A cracking sound was heard across the room and Uryuu let out a loud yelp. Both his bow and hand were cracked at once.

"Why, you…." Uryuu tried to attack him but Ryuuken was still holding him tightly.

"Be thankful that I didn't let you die in your own Sprenger, you fool. I won."

There was no need to call Orihime, for she was already there, alarmed by Uryuu's reiatsu. As she was restoring his broken bone, she looked at the two of them in question, but none of them uttered a single word. Finally, with a sigh she bowed and left the two men alone. It was then when Ryuuken turned to his son and looked at his hand. "Remember, you promised."

"I know I did. But I still don't see why I should do such a thing."

"I have some things I wish to show you."

His son scoffed. "Don't tell me you have a family memento to show me! That would be so touching."

Ryuuken ignored the ironic tone in his son's voice and went on. "You'll see when we get there."

"And where are we going, _dad?_"

"At our house. And stop calling me dad, unless you really mean it. "

"That goes for you, too. I don't think that you have any right to call me son, you know. Or any intention, for that matter."

"That is my business alone. Now get ready to go." Ryuuken cut his son off and set off for his car without another word.

"As you wish…", Uryuu responded in the same ironic tone he was using and walked behind his father, breathing deeply to calm his raging temper down.


	3. Finding the memories

The drive to Ryuuken's house was made in silence. There was nothing that could make Uryuu start any kind of conversation with his father, and his blood was still hot from the fight and the anger. At the same time, Ryuuken was concentrated on the road, looking completely calm.

A-what-seemed-like-an-eternity later, they reached their destination. Still without exchanging a word, the two men got off the car and walked through the garden to the luxury house. _Nothing has changed in all these years?_ Was Uryuu's first thought as he walked in. The house was almost the same as it was when he left. Only a few slight changes were made. But what captured his attention was how cold this house was. Not on terms of temperature –on that point of view, it was warm enough, almost hot-, but it seemed cold because it was like no one lived in it. Everything was so clean, so clinical, so _abandoned_. Like no one lived in there.

The silver-haired man didn't let his son stare at the house for long. With a nod, he made him follow him to his study room-the room Uryuu remembered his father spending most of his time in. Upon entering, Ryuuken headed to his desk and opened the bottom drawer. He took out what seemed like a big, old, dusty book. After blowing some of its dust off, he placed it on Uryuu's hands.

"What is this thing, Ryuuken? I'm not in the mood for your games."

"Why don't you take a look at it, then? I'm not going to say anything to waste your time."

Uryuu scowled and left the room. He went straight into the living room and sat on a chair, then he set the book on his lap and opened it. The 'book' was proved to be an album full of photographs. The boy was not prepared to face what was in this album.

Numerous pictures. Pictures of an era that seemed almost lost in time. Pictures that seemed to him impossible to exist. A beautiful woman, with a calm, serene smile. Holding a young man's hand. The man, tall, handsome, was looking at her with a loving look. _Ryuuken?_Another one. This time, this man, holding something covered in a blanket. Smiling wide-nothing like the stiff man that was looking at him from the door.

"What is the meaning of this, Ryuuken? What are all these?"

"What I meant to show you. Do you think things were always like this? Well, let me get you out of your little fantasy."

Uryuu narrowed his eyes. That's not something he could believe. Ryuuken was never the loving kind of man. Isn't this the reason he grew to hate him in the first place, anyway?

"Let's move on." Ryuuken moved towards the stairs and nodded for Uryuu to follow. He complied, walking speechless behind him. They walked until they reached Uryuu's old bedroom. Ryuuken refused to go in, so Uryuu turned on the lights. _Nothing's changed on here either._His old bed, his old desk, with the books and the toys he loved to use as a kid, everything on place. Unused, forgotten in the dust of memory for years. And all still there.

"Ryuuken…." He tried to say, but his father cut him off.

"On your desk, there is a green notebook. Take it, along with the album, and go to your home. I'll drive you there."

Uryuu understood and went silent. His father seemed tenser than he used to be as he descended the stairs and walked slowly to his car, with his back turned on him. They both climbed into the car and they didn't talk again until they reached Uryuu's apartment.

"Off you go, Uryuu. Have a good day." With these words, Ryuuken turned his head away from his son's gaze and reached for the cigarettes on his pocket. He lit one and inhaled deeply, waiting for his son to get off the car. Even though Uryuu wanted to say something, he nodded in consent and jumped on the sidewalk. A cloud of dust was raised as the car took off fast and he gazed at the things at his hands before walking up the stairs to his apartment.


	4. Now you know

…_Now you know, Ryuuken. Try not to hate me. I know you've done your best to protect both me and our Uryuu. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm only sad that I won't ever get to see our son grow up to be a wonderful man, like his father. And that none of us will see our Souki grow up to a lovely lady. _ _Now it's my turn to protect you two. I want you to take care of our son, and finish medics. My Ryuuken is going to be a great doctor someday. As great a doctor as a father.  
I love you, Ryu-kun. Your wife._

Uryuu had memories of crying. He cried when he fell and got hurt as a kid, until his mom came to soothe him. He cried when Ryuuken told him that they wouldn't see his mother again. He cried when his grandfather died. He cried the first night he left to live on his own. But he had never cried as much as this time. His eyes were red from the lack of sleep. But he was reading, and reading non-stop.

His whole life came to crumbles. Nothing he knew was true.

_I'm afraid about you, Ryuuken. The Shinigami don't care about the Quincy. And we become less and less every day. I don't want you to die. Neither do I want this fate for our boy. I want you two to grow older together-remember what you said to me when I told you that I was pregnant to him? "He's going to be loved like none other." I'm sure you will love him like none other. _

This seems like a lie. A big lie. But then, what were those pictures? He couldn't believe his eyes. What he saw was a different Ryuuken- a loving, caring, smiling, happy Ryuuken. Where is this man now?

_One day, I will find a way to thank you, Ryu-kun. For everything you've given me. I don't think there is a luckier woman than me, anywhere. I love you, I love you, I love you…_

It seems like this man was lost after the death of this woman. His mother… And a girl? Did he have a sister? Uryuu shuffled through the pages of the notebook-his mother's diary-, still trying to keep his tears from falling. Ryuuken. He turned into the most bitter person in the world when he lost his wife. He wasn't always like this. It seems that he used to be a much better person. But it was all over after the loss of Uryuu's mother. He had a few memories of his mother-he didn't remember her face, just her bright, sweet smile. Maybe that was why Ryuuken turned into what he is now.

_But what about me? I was there, too! Didn't I mean anything to him?_

All kinds of thoughts ran into his head, making him dizzy. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. _You condemned me in loneliness all those years because of your grief? You weren't fucking alone, Ryuuken! I was there too! How could you forget about that?_

Uryuu rubbed his tired eyes. He couldn't sleep at all-not after what he read. Those were the confessions of a loved woman. Loved by the one who he believed to be incapable of loving anyone. That was so confusing… So weird… So sad… So…

_This was the best day ever! I met a wonderful man. His name is Ryuuken Ishida-yes, he's Souken-sensei's son. He was full of life! Souken-sensei trained us together today. And he was so skilled, just like sensei! Please, please, PLEASE sensei, train us together again! Ryuuken-kun encouraged me greatly to keep on today. I had never thought that a smile can be so inspiring. Maybe I should thank him for that someday!_

Uryuu closed the notebook and set it aside, along with the album. Enough was enough-he wanted some answers and he wanted them immediately. He grabbed his coat, stormed off his house, and started walking towards Ryuuken's house.


	5. Thank you

Ryuuken was leaning over a cup of coffee. In his hand was holding a cigarette, one of the many he'd smoked through that sleepless night. He was nervous, but satisfied. He thought that what happened was for the best-he couldn't have Uryuu totally ignorant forever, could he? Certainly not after he saw him wounded more and more often. _That's why I didn't want him to become a Quincy. So he wouldn't have to go through this. _

He, himself, had left his Quincy identity for years. After his wife had died, he refused to have any connection to Quincies again, and he concentrated on his medic studies instead. Then a fancy career opened up in front of him, but nothing could replace his loss.

His son's reiatsu distracted him from his thoughts. Lazily, he got up and walked to the door to see his son. _His eyes are red. I bet he stayed awake all night long._

"Good morning, Ryuuken."

"Good morning. It doesn't seem that good, though."

Uryuu tried to clear his throat. "I…I read the notebook."

"I figured you would. And what do you want now?"

_What the hell does he mean "what do I want"? _"I need to hear the whole story, Ryuuken."

"Take a seat then. It's going to be a long one."

Uryuu took a seat across his father's, while he sat down, took a deep inhale from his cigarette and tried to explain everything. He didn't stop in any part. He talked about his own father and his aspirations about making him a Quincy, the hard years of training and the reason why he got into the medic school a little bit later, how he met his wife, everything about their love, their marriage, their kids. The young Uryuu and his unborn sister, Souki. He hesitated for a while when he referred to his wife's death. Like Souken, she was left to die. But in this case, it was she who went straight into her death, to distract the hollows. At this time, the shinigami used to 'direct' the hollows towards the last Quincies, and in order to save her husband and son, she sacrificed herself and their unborn baby.

Ryuuken didn't talk about what changed after that, but he didn't need to. Many things that didn't make sense till then now seemed embarrassingly obvious. He felt devastated after this loss. Uryuu still couldn't forgive him about his stance, but he sure could understand him. _Just like grandpa said I would._

Silence fell upon the room. Thankfully, it didn't last long. Uryuu was the first one to break it.

"So…that's what the scolding was about?"

Ryuuken laughed, making his son blink, shocked by the sound.

"Yeah, that's right. I just don't want you to be careless and put yourself in danger. Your mother would kill me if I allowed you to go and die on me."

A smile was all he got from Uryuu as a response. "Thank you for telling me…"

"I had to. You're old enough to know the truth, right?"

The boy nodded. He was feeling grateful for that. And his father looked free from a burden he carried alone for years. He stretched his hand to meet his son's and he smiled when he managed to get hold of it in a handshake.

"Thank you…father."


	6. Just like starting over

"Come on, Ryuuken! Have you gotten too old for that?

"Who's old, you fool?"

A volley of arrows shot against Ryuuken and he made some impressive avoiding movements. Uryuu stopped to look at him, and he almost got hit by a swift counter-attack on Ryuuken's behalf.

"Get your feet moving, Uryuu!"

Three months had passed since then. These were some difficult months. Father and son tried to establish their relationship right from the start. It wasn't easy to trust Ryuuken, but they had done some improvements.

"Aren't you tired, Ryuuken? Men your age are getting tired easily!"

"Say something like this again and you'll see who'll get tired first…"

They kept their respective houses. None of them could manage moving in with the other, so they kept at it. But they spent more time together. It wasn't unusual to see Ryuuken visiting Uryuu after work and stay for dinner with him. One of them would make dinner-and it would usually be Ryuuken, who, much to his son's surprise, was an excellent cook-, and they would spend their evening in silence, but together. And that counted more than any words.

"Heh…Offended, aren't we? That proves my point, I guess."

"I wonder why you're so cheeky…"

"Genes, Ryuuken. Genes."

"Whose genes?"

"Do you really want me to answer this? Seriously, Ryuuken?"

"I dare you to, son!"

A few nights, Uryuu would stay at his old house. In his childhood room. But he felt like he was suffocating there. Too many memories. He was wondering about how Ryuuken could live in there alone for all these years, buried under the weight of the pain that these memories brought. _Anyone else would have gone crazy, living like this._Especially since his father had kept the house almost exactly like it was back then. Uryuu had tried to talk his father into renting a new house for himself, but he would always deny that thought. When, once, Uryuu asked him why, he admitted that he didn't want to lose whatever was left of his wife and let the memories go away. No matter how painful they were, they were the only thing left of the woman he loved.

"Maybe we should take a break…."

"Tired, aren't we, son? Is the youth giving up so easily nowadays?

"….Go on, Ryuuken. I proposed this only for you. I didn't want you to faint on me, but if you insist…."

"Don't worry, and you can't get rid of me that easily. You'll need much more to make me faint on you."

One day, they visited her grave together. It was a really tough moment. Both of them had the need to cry out loud, but none of them would do it. The Ishida pride, as Uryuu would say in an attempt to joke about their stubbornness. And Ryuuken would only agree with his son on that matter, making the similarities between them all the more obvious.

"Okay, okay. Enough for today."

"Strangely enough, I agree with you, son. Let us continue tomorrow. Get ready to leave!"

"Say that it's done already."

"Why am I not surprised?"

One more thing they would share is the training. Exhausting training sessions under the Karakura Clinic. Ryuuken claimed that Uryuu needed to train harder since he chose to be a Quincy, and he would make sure that he would help as much as possible. That was a way to protect his only child, after all.

"Are you ready father?

"Yes. Let us go now, shall we?"

They sure had a long way ahead of them to establish their father-son relationship. But at least they both were willing to try. Knowing that their loved one would be happy if she could see them. And that was enough to make them keep on trying.


End file.
